Tag Archives: stupidity

Thick and stupid people, uncultured people and the average joe…

10 May

No imagination

How I long to tell 90% of the people I unhappily co-exist with that their presence in my world does nothing but annoy me, and little but bore me poop’less.

Talking behind my back

Just recently while in conversation with a current work colleague who had enjoyed an evening in the company of another truly thick and dimensionless ex work colleague of mine the ‘new’ work colleague proffered an opinion based on information gleaned while drinking cheap beer in a local ‘Social Club’ (for that replace with ‘people with nothing on their minds but where to find the cheapest pint in town Club’) that there was … and I quote ‘no way I could have had enough time to do all the things I ‘claim’ to have done in my life.

What do you do all day?

I have always felt that I have done very little of worth with the time I have spent thus far on our planet; though I have written for and led as the frontman a well received rock band, collected music to the point of being invited to lecture a University course on popular music, danced in one of England’s greatest revival Morris Dancing sides, have got a degree in fine art, had countless jobs of varying descriptions, managed to breed and teach myself how to design websites virtually at the same time. I have toured the UK on one occasion with another band that was signed to top record labels and appeared at Glastonbury a number of times, that Paul McCartney championed.

I had the joy to grow up in an North American city and have met some famous musicians related to the music from that city. I have organised and run a three-day ‘Hippie’ festival. I have suggested songs for inclusion in popular films. I have a friend who won an Oscar only a couple of years ago. My wife worked on some of the top Soaps and long running Dramas in the UK and continues to keep in contact with many of those involved…. the list of incursions into ‘doing stuff’ and ‘being mildly interesting’ goes on.

The thing is…. why does this piss me off so heartily?

They’re thick, dumb, plain, boring and capable of little else but the imagination it takes to watch the Television every night, so why does it piss me off to be so judged by one (or two) of their ilk.

Because…  it takes someone as truly ignorant as they to have the balls and the confidence to make such a statement; that they are so self secure in their knowledge in the world and the truth that it holds (for them) that they can form opinions such as these and spout them out as truths makes me bloody angry.


And what really gets to me is how scared it makes me feel, when I stop to think that it is they that are the majority, the average, the common man and the inheritors of this world’s future!

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance must truly be bliss, because having the intelligence to know what a bunch of assholes 90% of those I have the misfortune to rub up against in my daily travails are is something even I might trade with ‘mildly entertaining’ for ‘ossifyingly boring and stunningly ignorant’, just in order that I might go through life believing that I am not surrounded by twats. An option to be taken as infinitely preferable should you wish to remain un-irritated by their presence in your life.

God I despair.


TNT – incompetence bomb explodes in my face

12 Dec

A friend wrote to me today, in frustration regarding his experiences of dealing with TNT a UK courier company, both generally and recently during the light frosting of snow that England received:

I run the parts department of the local depot of a large Swedish truck manufacturer. We rely on an overnight delivery service to get urgent parts to keep the wheels of industry turning. TNT provides this service. Or rather doesn’t bother their arse to provide this service…

Twats in the snow

Two Thursdays ago we had some inclement weather, it snowed a bit. Ok it was a bit heavy, it took me 15 minuets longer than usual to drive the 16 miles to work, mainly due to the fucking incompetent twats who had no business getting their cars off the drive in conditions that they did not have the skills to drive in.

TNT are contracted and paid rather well to deliver our parts overnight from our UK warehouse in Milton Keynes to all local depots by 9am 6 days a week. Actually we pay for a before 8am service but incredibly the incompetent fucks can’t print a before 8 sticker!!!!! (Worse still OUR head office let them do this).

After 8s

It is rare that we ever get what should be, a before nine service, but we are used to this and take it in our stride. I usually call the nearest TNT branch, 25 miles away by speedy dual carriageway at around 9:15 to ask where our deliveries are. The litany of excuses is, as always, unbelievable.

No Chance Mate – the oft heard call of the ‘common lesser acne spotted jobsworth’.

Any ho on this particular Thursday when yet again they hadn’t delivered, in a kind of snow laden Blitz spirit, I gave them the benefit of my considerable doubt and waited till 10:30 to call and ask politely if we would be getting a delivery. “No chance mate” came the response from the customer unfocused grunt on the other end of the phone.
As it happened on this particular Thursday it wasn’t too big a deal to not get our parts as none of our customers came in that day and out of 15 staff only myself and four others made it in. Some of them driving past areas were those that “couldn’t” make it in lived! But that’s a whole other rant….

Get yer fucking finger out TNT

On the Friday the weather conditions had improved a bit but TNTs attitude had not…”No mate we can’t even get out of the yard”. So one of our guys got into a perfectly ordinary van and drove to the local TNT depot, collected our parts and returned without any issues.

Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be (Mamas and the Papas)

By Monday morning weekend rainstorms had removed all trace of the snow completely…


Saturday’s deliveries arrived… hooray.


Friday’s deliveries arrived… What the fuck! Where are Monday’s orders??? I decided to cut out the lazy wankers at the local branch and went straight to our national account manager at TNT. An hour or so too-ing and fro-ing on the phone and he was “going to get it sorted”… Useless fuck couldn’t sort a deck of cards with an instruction manual…


Tuesday’s overnight orders arrive… still no sign of Monday’s… oh and a delivery for another of our branches arrives with us! We can tell it is for them because there are two fucking labels on it saying so…back on the phone to our account “manager” This is getting boring.


Mondays deliveries finally arrive… hoo fucking ray. Ahhhhh… but where the fuck are Wednesday’s overnight deliveries?? I’ve got Mr Useless Fucker’s number on speed dial now. This conversation makes my week… Apparently according to this guy who runs a multi million pound national contract and probably gets paid three times my salary –  ‘it was very snowy in Scotland and the north of England which is why their branch in Surrey didn’t function’. I asked him to clarify this given that there had been no snow on the ground since the weekend and the outside temperature was currently 8°C. Needless to say his answer didn’t satisfy me.


We get three separate deliveries from TNT everything that is outstanding arrives…almost……..  just two items from one of the new consignments are missing, which, as I have painfully learned is fucking outstanding from such incompetents.

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