Tag Archives: misery

TNT – incompetence bomb explodes in my face

12 Dec

A friend wrote to me today, in frustration regarding his experiences of dealing with TNT a UK courier company, both generally and recently during the light frosting of snow that England received:

I run the parts department of the local depot of a large Swedish truck manufacturer. We rely on an overnight delivery service to get urgent parts to keep the wheels of industry turning. TNT provides this service. Or rather doesn’t bother their arse to provide this service…

Twats in the snow

Two Thursdays ago we had some inclement weather, it snowed a bit. Ok it was a bit heavy, it took me 15 minuets longer than usual to drive the 16 miles to work, mainly due to the fucking incompetent twats who had no business getting their cars off the drive in conditions that they did not have the skills to drive in.

TNT are contracted and paid rather well to deliver our parts overnight from our UK warehouse in Milton Keynes to all local depots by 9am 6 days a week. Actually we pay for a before 8am service but incredibly the incompetent fucks can’t print a before 8 sticker!!!!! (Worse still OUR head office let them do this).

After 8s

It is rare that we ever get what should be, a before nine service, but we are used to this and take it in our stride. I usually call the nearest TNT branch, 25 miles away by speedy dual carriageway at around 9:15 to ask where our deliveries are. The litany of excuses is, as always, unbelievable.

No Chance Mate – the oft heard call of the ‘common lesser acne spotted jobsworth’.

Any ho on this particular Thursday when yet again they hadn’t delivered, in a kind of snow laden Blitz spirit, I gave them the benefit of my considerable doubt and waited till 10:30 to call and ask politely if we would be getting a delivery. “No chance mate” came the response from the customer unfocused grunt on the other end of the phone.
As it happened on this particular Thursday it wasn’t too big a deal to not get our parts as none of our customers came in that day and out of 15 staff only myself and four others made it in. Some of them driving past areas were those that “couldn’t” make it in lived! But that’s a whole other rant….

Get yer fucking finger out TNT

On the Friday the weather conditions had improved a bit but TNTs attitude had not…”No mate we can’t even get out of the yard”. So one of our guys got into a perfectly ordinary van and drove to the local TNT depot, collected our parts and returned without any issues.

Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be (Mamas and the Papas)

By Monday morning weekend rainstorms had removed all trace of the snow completely…


Saturday’s deliveries arrived… hooray.


Friday’s deliveries arrived… What the fuck! Where are Monday’s orders??? I decided to cut out the lazy wankers at the local branch and went straight to our national account manager at TNT. An hour or so too-ing and fro-ing on the phone and he was “going to get it sorted”… Useless fuck couldn’t sort a deck of cards with an instruction manual…


Tuesday’s overnight orders arrive… still no sign of Monday’s… oh and a delivery for another of our branches arrives with us! We can tell it is for them because there are two fucking labels on it saying so…back on the phone to our account “manager” This is getting boring.


Mondays deliveries finally arrive… hoo fucking ray. Ahhhhh… but where the fuck are Wednesday’s overnight deliveries?? I’ve got Mr Useless Fucker’s number on speed dial now. This conversation makes my week… Apparently according to this guy who runs a multi million pound national contract and probably gets paid three times my salary –  ‘it was very snowy in Scotland and the north of England which is why their branch in Surrey didn’t function’. I asked him to clarify this given that there had been no snow on the ground since the weekend and the outside temperature was currently 8°C. Needless to say his answer didn’t satisfy me.


We get three separate deliveries from TNT everything that is outstanding arrives…almost……..  just two items from one of the new consignments are missing, which, as I have painfully learned is fucking outstanding from such incompetents.


Trying to apply for a Royal Post Office Job

19 Oct

Stupid Shit

I have been engaged in applying for a job delivering letters and parcels for the Royal Post Office here in the UK, the online process had taken me about 2 hours when I got to a section where I HAVE to take two tests within 48 hours before they will consider my application, I tried, they didn’t work, due almost definitely to lack of forward design in browser compatibility, I tried the latest versions of the three most popular browsers and nothing…Nada, fuck all but the subsequent baldness resultant of pulling all my remaining hair out.

Unemployed and looking for work, any work, even this!

The only thing making this service the ‘ROYAL’ Post Office is that it appears to have skill at high quality ROYAL fuck up creation, a skill of course for which the British are renowned, if not worldwide, then definitely within the confines of its own shores!

I HATE this sort of time-wasting shit, I just want to apply for a job and only need to talk to someone with half a fucking brain! It’d be way cheaper too if they considered employing someone to answer the phone instead of developing this sort of shitty online third-party software. Particularly if they paid them a similar wage to the one they propose giving me as a Postman. Dumbass shits.

Here’s the email I just sent them:

Dear Sirs,
Your online test process does not work and I cannot take the online test for sorting, having taken a good deal of time to apply and fill in the application form this is of the utmost frustration.
I am worried that my application will not be looked upon favourably (or at all) because of this situation. I am currently trying to apply for a position of casual postman at Blah Blah Blah in Blah Blah Town.
To begin with your test did NOT support a browser and version that it says it supports, and then when I changed to an alternative browser and it was supported and seemed to work while using the practice test it then refused to work when I came to do the actual test.
I really think you should let your service provider know this and get them to act quickly, it is of incredible frustration to have spent as long as I have applying only to have this happen, I have worked as a web designer and I know what I’m talking about.
Please please alert those that need to know that I would like to take the test, but having now tried three browsers all with up to date versions I am left unable to do so.
In your application form process you ask a question similar to this one ‘If you noted areas where improvements could be made, would you:
A – Keep quiet about them?
B – Write them on a pice of old paper and eat it? or
C – Tell your colleagues about it so efficiency could be improved?
I would answer C and so I’m telling you, politely, that your online application process, service and tests need improving.
In the meantime perhaps you could help me by telling someone at your end that I’m trying desperately to apply for this job?
Yours Sincerely,


Further crappy service No1

It’s worth mentioning that I did get a reply to my email the following day, with…. urmmm, absolutely nothing in it, which was helpful! This now leaves less than 24 hours for them to sort out the problem and for me to take the test. Assholes.

Further crappy service No2

So the following morning hours before the deadline they finally send me an email which again tells me it’s down to me and not their online software… TWATS; the only thing of any use that they say is, ‘Try A Friends Computer’ to see if that works. I mean how low-fi is that for technical advice!!!

Anyway, so I do and so I finally finish a 3-4hour marathon of applying for a job that pays just over minimum wage for walking around in all weathers… I’m wondering who’s the biggest idiot Royal Mail or Me..?

Me quite obviously!

Because that wasn’t the end of the story.

I attended the job interview having successfully negotiated the application assault course (I’m determined that way) only to discover that the job was for 12 week short term contracts with NO guaranteed hours within that contract. They hadn’t been clear in their online job description.

The ‘Job’ (and I use that term as loosely as I can) basically amounted to – ‘we may call you to come in to work at anytime we please, maybe for an hour every three months, or maybe for 12 hours a day for three months, or maybe not at all, we just don’t know yet, we’ll have to wait and see, but you will be tied into this contract for at least 12 weeks.’

Are you guys fucking with me?!

I proffered the opinion that they weren’t offering me a whole hell of a lot for my effort (to date) and the loyalty they would then require within the 12 week contract and though my interviewer was pleasant enough I stated in as polite a way as possible that this whole situation was a fuckery beyond belief and left.

Finding work in 2010 is like being shit on, not pleasant (in case you were wondering)

When the government tells you that there are jobs out there to be had, they’re not lying, but when that job amounts to fuck all of fuck all for fuck all money, then pretty much, they are. The mealy mouthed sons of bitches. I don’t mind working, I like it in fact, but I’m not about to let some nob end of a concommoglobocorperation shag me in the arse as well as pay me minimum wage.

Employers Market

See as soon as the wheels of business that are turning are the buyers’ in the market they’ll shag the fuck out of you and expect you to smile about it. Bring on the revolution, that’s what I say.

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