Trying to apply for a Royal Post Office Job

Stupid Shit

I have been engaged in applying for a job delivering letters and parcels for the Royal Post Office here in the UK, the online process had taken me about 2 hours when I got to a section where I HAVE to take two tests within 48 hours before they will consider my application, I tried, they didn’t work, due almost definitely to lack of forward design in browser compatibility, I tried the latest versions of the three most popular browsers and nothing…Nada, fuck all but the subsequent baldness resultant of pulling all my remaining hair out.

Unemployed and looking for work, any work, even this!

The only thing making this service the ‘ROYAL’ Post Office is that it appears to have skill at high quality ROYAL fuck up creation, a skill of course for which the British are renowned, if not worldwide, then definitely within the confines of its own shores!

I HATE this sort of time-wasting shit, I just want to apply for a job and only need to talk to someone with half a fucking brain! It’d be way cheaper too if they considered employing someone to answer the phone instead of developing this sort of shitty online third-party software. Particularly if they paid them a similar wage to the one they propose giving me as a Postman. Dumbass shits.

Here’s the email I just sent them:

Dear Sirs,

Your online test process does not work and I cannot take the online test for sorting, having taken a good deal of time to apply and fill in the application form this is of the utmost frustration.

I am worried that my application will not be looked upon favourably (or at all) because of this situation. I am currently trying to apply for a position of casual postman at Blah Blah Blah in Blah Blah Town.

To begin with your test did NOT support a browser and version that it says it supports, and then when I changed to an alternative browser and it was supported and seemed to work while using the practice test it then refused to work when I came to do the actual test.

I really think you should let your service provider know this and get them to act quickly, it is of incredible frustration to have spent as long as I have applying only to have this happen, I have worked as a web designer and I know what I’m talking about.

Please please alert those that need to know that I would like to take the test, but having now tried three browsers all with up to date versions I am left unable to do so.

In your application form process you ask a question similar to this one ‘If you noted areas where improvements could be made, would you:

A – Keep quiet about them?

B – Write them on a pice of old paper and eat it? or

C – Tell your colleagues about it so efficiency could be improved?

I would answer C and so I’m telling you, politely, that your online application process, service and tests need improving.

In the meantime perhaps you could help me by telling someone at your end that I’m trying desperately to apply for this job?

Yours Sincerely,

ME

Further crappy service No1

It’s worth mentioning that I did get a reply to my email the following day, with…. urmmm, absolutely nothing in it, which was helpful! This now leaves less than 24 hours for them to sort out the problem and for me to take the test. Assholes.

Further crappy service No2

So the following morning hours before the deadline they finally send me an email which again tells me it’s down to me and not their online software… TWATS; the only thing of any use that they say is, ‘Try A Friends Computer’ to see if that works. I mean how low-fi is that for technical advice!!!

Anyway, so I do and so I finally finish a 3-4hour marathon of applying for a job that pays just over minimum wage for walking around in all weathers… I’m wondering who’s the biggest idiot Royal Mail or Me..?

Me quite obviously!

Because that wasn’t the end of the story.

I attended the job interview having successfully negotiated the application assault course (I’m determined that way) only to discover that the job was for 12 week short term contracts with NO guaranteed hours within that contract. They hadn’t been clear in their online job description.

The ‘Job’ (and I use that term as loosely as I can) basically amounted to – ‘we may call you to come in to work at anytime we please, maybe for an hour every three months, or maybe for 12 hours a day for three months, or maybe not at all, we just don’t know yet, we’ll have to wait and see, but you will be tied into this contract for at least 12 weeks.’

Are you guys fucking with me?!

I proffered the opinion that they weren’t offering me a whole hell of a lot for my effort (to date) and the loyalty they would then require within the 12 week contract and though my interviewer was pleasant enough I stated in as polite a way as possible that this whole situation was a fuckery beyond belief and left.

Finding work in 2010 is like being shit on, not pleasant (in case you were wondering)

When the government tells you that there are jobs out there to be had, they’re not lying, but when that job amounts to fuck all of fuck all for fuck all money, then pretty much, they are. The mealy mouthed sons of bitches. I don’t mind working, I like it in fact, but I’m not about to let some nob end of a concommoglobocorperation shag me in the arse as well as pay me minimum wage.

Employers Market

See as soon as the wheels of business that are turning are the buyers’ in the market they’ll shag the fuck out of you and expect you to smile about it. Bring on the revolution, that’s what I say.